< ?? hr

i am leaving singleton hospital < 1hr
i am leaving swansea university in < 5hr
i am leaving wales in < 19hr
i am leaving london in < 24hr
i will be back to malaysia < 37hr
i will be back home in < 39hr
i just need to wait for another 2340 minutes...
which is euivalent to 140400 seconds
140400...
140399...
140398...
140397...
140396..............................................................
when i count to 1s, that's the time i can see my family...

Sayonara...Goodbye... ZaiJian...So long...Selamat tinggal

What would i miss the most in Wales?
1) my cutie "ang mo" cousins
2) my kind and friendly coulleagues
3) free coffee everyday in the hospital
4) clean environment without cockroaches
5) cool and nice weather that wont make u sweat
6) green grass and pretty flowers
7) food, eg: muller's youghurt, joe's ice cream, subway's burger, walker's snack...

What wouldnt i miss at all in Wales?
1) Potatoes!!!! no more potatoes when i go back
2) Sanwhiches!!! say no to sandwich, "tak nak"
3) strong wind... when the wind blows against you, it can make you very hard to step forward
4) Proper "kuai low" english... i want to speak pasar/broken/malaysian english with all the 'la', 'mei', 'wor','ma'....
5) dogs that like to run around!!! bye bye, doggy...

Sayonara...Goodbye... ZaiJian...So long...Selamat tinggal
to all the people, events, things and places in Wales

Another 4 days to go...

I am going back home in few days time... Very excited... Finally i can go home and spend some time with my friends and family
most probably staying at home for one month time and need to fly again to manchester to start my clinical practice in september...
so i need to spend my time wisely... as i have too many things to sort out...
1) my medical report to JPA
it was supposed to be completed 2 weeks ago but because i was in Wales, i was allowed to post to them later... i hope it wont take me long but according to my friend they waited quite long in government hospital and it's quite costly to do it in private hospital...
2) collect my unconditional offer letter and apply for my student visa...
IMU has got my offer letter and i need to go British Council to apply for my student visa... i already got the form and the photocopy of my passport plus the photo... what i need to do now is just bring it to the office in KL
3) have a hair cut
I cant imagine myself not having hair cut for 16weeks... My friends would know that i trim my hair quite frequently as i like my head to be light...i couldnt think well when my head is heavy although my long hair only weigh <100g
4) decorate my new room
i am moving to new house very soon and my dad hag bought the other furnitures and only my room was left empty because i am not at home... he only got me an air cond and wardrobe. i am using the old bed... but anyway, i wish to get a study table and a chair... i'll go shopping to get new furnitures for myslef... HOORAY!!!
5) eat as much as i can.... especially home-cooked food
i miss my mum's cookings, especially her luo han guo soup, herbal chicken, fried dou miao, steamed fish, fried prawn... and other malaysian food, eg: bak kut teh, nasi lemak, satay, asam laksa, ulu yam loh mee... i wish i could sapu all the food in the 4 weeks and maitaining my weight at the same time... what a great challenge to me.....
6) meet up with my friends...
i hope to meet up with my imu sban friends in sban... do u guys 1 2 go for movie or sing k?
hope to meet my ex-housemates in bukit jalil as they were working for imu...
hope to meet up my pd friends in UM as our beloved headboy is going to graduate on 7th aug... really need to go and wish him all the best...
and also miss ds who supported me a lot...
7) meet up with my relatives...
i miss my beloved and cutie cousin, eg: an an, jia jia, shi shi, er er, and hong hong...
of course also not so cutie one, eg: tomboy xin and liverpool yong...
and also my grandparents, my uncles and my aunites...
8) last, but not least... to spend some time with my family
i'll use this one month time to compensate what i did not do for the past 16 weeks...
papa, sorry that i still wont buy cigarrete for you but i'll go shopping with you to look for nice furnitures, ok?
mama, sorry that i always reply ur sms late and make you so worry about me but i will go back penang with you to visit ah gong and ah ma, ok?
ah hoi, sorry that i couldnt do much when u were admitted to hospital and as a medical student, i felt so hopeless when couldnt help you at all... but i'll try my best to do whatever you requested as long as i can make it... go pc fair? go mayday concert? go low yat? anything u wish, ok?
xiao dee, sorry that i couldnt find any score for you and bring you so much trouble for these 16weeks... but i promise to invest in your new piano, ok?
thank you to papa and mama who give me so much support, spiritually and financially to fulfill my dream to come to learn with uncle
thank you to hoi and xiao dee who take care papa and mama on my behalf... sorry to make u guys the middle man between two of them... sorry to make u all take up so much burden... i am the eldest child and it was supposed to be my responsible...
i love all of you... muak...

LET IT BE...

On monday, i was supposed to go to the gynae clinic and it was cancelled.
On tuesday, i was supposed to go to the antenatal clinic, but the consultant was too stressful and refused to run the clinic.
On wednesday, i was supposed to go to the diabetic antenatal clinic and they already had another elective student...
at the end, i couldnt attend all the clinics in the morning...
and this morning, i received an sms from my brother saying that my com certified kena virus.....
the virus was so smart to infect my com at this time... when i am going back home soon. nothing much i can do now, just waiting to go home so that my bro can fix it for me.
everything just gone wrong and i wasnt really upset at all...
learning to take things lightly, i think....
i was disappointed for a while but i know nothing can be changed even if i fell upset.
SO, JUST LET IT BE....

Obstetric & Gynaecology posting

I've decided to write for this posting in advance even though i've another 4 more days to go. I do this only for two weeks and no ward rounds this time as attachment to this department is very different form others. as the consultant in charge of elective students for O&G created a time table for me, unlike last time i went to the medical/surgical/paediatrics ward in the morning and stay until i feel like leaving. In the wards, i normally follow the consultants for the morning ward round and then follow the junior doctors to do bloods and review the patients. But then, in O&G i have to follow my time table as created.

MONDAY Gynae OPD & Post-menopausal bleeding clinic
TUESDAY Antenatal Clinic
WEDNESDAY Diabetic Antenatal clinic
THURSDAY Gynae theatre
FRIDAY Labour Ward

So basically i do not get to follow the progression of the patients as they only come to clinic once.
But i can still share with you things that i've seen in clinic but it wont be as interesting as cases that i've seen in the wards...

1) Gynae OPD: the most commom complaint would be menorrhagia for young lady and uterine/vaginal wall prolapse for old lady.
2) PMB clinic: i get to see transvaginal ultrasound scanning to measure the endometrium thickness and also endometrail biopsy... (:p)
3) Antenatal: nothing much, basically just follow-ups to check BP and urine...
4) Diabetic antenatal clinic: this is a super busy one cause there were a consultant, a diabetic nurse, a dietician, a midwife, a student nurse and a medical student (that's me) in that clinic. 6 person to see one patient and everyone would interview the patients to find out her medical condition (by the consultant), her daily blood sugar level (by the diabetic nurse), her diet control (by the dietician), her baby's condition (by the midwife) and her BP+urine (by the student nurse). i am the only one not doing anything in the clinic because i dun know what can i do...
basically i just sat there and watched....
5) theatre: very good experience, i get to see vaginal hysterectomy and also abdominal hysterectomy. In vaginal hysterectomy, the cervix and the uterus were removed together as the patient had uterine prolapse. In abdominal hysterectomy, only the uterus was removed as it was enlarged til the size of 12-16weeks pregnant due to presence of big fibroids.
6) labour ward: very unlucky that day as there was no delivery... and i had my free time to do something else that day....

i think it's going to be the similar things this week. i will update new post if i would see anything more interesting...
and this is going to be the shortest clinical post compared to thers of my posts...

My first meditation experience in Swansea

I was invited to a meditation group by my colleague.
We found out both of us are Buddhist after working together for 3months.
They have meditation and dharma discussion in her house every thursday.
I was looking forward to go to this meditation as i was looking for a group of dharma pals in this land.
But i was quite scared as well coz i do not meditate for quite some time... (perhaps the last time was half a year ago)
And today, i was brought to her shrine hall. And Mel played the buddhist hymn from cd her player while waiting for her other meditation friends.
Mel (my colleague) introduced me to her other dharma friends., Owen and Jean. We chat for about fifteeen minutes.
Then Mel told me that they normally sit for 30min. it was quite long for me but i very pai seh to say i cant do it.
so......
i started to meditate with them, concentrate on my breathing....
as time goes by, my back started to ache....
my right leg started to feel numb...
i tilted a bit to change my position..
but it lasted a few minutes...
then i started to feel numb again...
i focus back to my breathing...
breathe in.... breathe out.....
and finally the bell rang and it was the end of the meditation.
i massaged my legs and make myself more comfortable in a sitting position.

i recalled a lot of moments that i spent in buddhist society...
after the meditation
i remember
my beloved dharma teacher, Bro Tan Ho Soon...
my beloved dharma senior, Miss Lee Xin Er...
my beloved president, Miss Ho Pei Jen
and the rest of my dhrarma pals,
eg: Ling Min, Jackie, Mok, Ei Leen, Hwee Hong, Kian Hwa, Yi Cheau, Kean Aun, Chun Wai, Si Wei..... ( i hope i did not miss anyone)
of course i woulndt forget the juniors...
Chun Loo and friends...

Happy hour passes very fast,
it's the time to say goodbye...

We spent 2hr sitting and talking in the shrine hall...
I really enjoyed the calm and peaceful moment with these foriegn dharma pals...
For the first time, i really feel that no matter what language you speak, what's your skin colour, what's your hair colour...
as long as we are the followers of the Buddha...
We are bound together...

Thanks, Mel
Thanks, the Lord Buddha

眼泪

词曲：黄国伦 原唱：范晓萱
青春若有张不老的脸 但愿她永远不被改变
许多梦想总编织太美 跟着迎接幻灭
爱上你是最快乐的事 却也换来最痛苦的悲
苦涩交错爱的甜美 我怎样都学不会
ha......
oh 眼泪 眼泪都是我的体会 成长的滋味
oh 眼泪 忍住眼泪不让你看见 我在改变
孤单的感觉 你从不曾发现 我笑中还有泪
oh 眼泪 眼泪流过无言的夜 心痛的滋味
oh 眼泪 擦干眼泪忘掉一切 曾有的眷恋
眼泪是苦 眼泪是伤悲 眼泪都是你
眼泪是甜 眼泪是昨天 眼泪不流泪

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYhF_VkzEFo

这首歌，与所有爱哭包共勉之。
只要是让你成长的眼泪，就痛痛快快让他流吧！

Mission Impossible: A walk along the beach 走在鹅海边

鹅海means swansea. i created it. i went for a walk last week. recorded a few video.
sorry to those who cant understand mandarin. i'll try my best to translate.
dun doubt your ears, it's my voice. i know it's sound very different. but it was me...
the wind was strong that day. sometimes got sand flew into my mouth, very difficult to talk.
i was introducing the bridge in the first video. the bridge had fallen long time ago and now became the road for car to pass.



i was a bit disappointed to look at the sea. it wasnt very nice that day, on the low tide.
just felt like singing a song that related to the sea at that moment.
the first sng came into my mind, 阿妹的听海。
“听~~海哭的声音。。。”
key有点起太高了,还好没破音。
but it was out of tune, super out of tune.
i am sorry to torture your ears.
i just think it was funny... singing while sand blowing into your mouth...
if this video makes you laugh, then i am happy even if you laugh at my
unbearable singing...


another song came into my mind...
the very popular one, even mus knew it...
the champion song for chinese song singing competition 2006 in imu
"你怎么舍得让我的泪。。。 流向海~~~”
i know i am not good at singing la...
but it was just fun...
if anyone saw me recording this video, they might have thought that i am mad.

tease me la,
criticize me la,
laugh at me la,
i know i am not good,
but at least i have the courage to make the first step,
even it's something silly to you,
it makes my life different from others...

hope u enjoy the video.
sorry again for my bad *infinity singing.
i wanst intend to prove that i can sing
i just want to tell you that i've achieved something impossible...

Jay Chou rocks!!!

Jay Chou was the greatest winner for Taiwan Golden Melody Award (something equivalent to Chinese Grammy award) 第19届台湾金曲奖,which was held on last Saturday 5/7/08.
Unfortunately he couldnt attend this award as it clashed with his concert in china.
The good news is he won 4 major awards out of 8 nominations.

最佳年度歌曲 《青花瓷》
The best song of the year Qing Hua Ci literally means Green Flower Vase
which was recoreded in his latest album: Jay Chou on the Run 周杰伦 牛仔很忙


最佳作曲人 《青花瓷》周杰伦
The best pop song composer Qing Hua Ci by Jay Chou



最佳作词人 《青花瓷》 方文山
This song QHC won the best lyric as well and it was written by Jay Chou good partner 方文山 Fang Wen Shan.


最佳专辑制作人 《不能说的秘密》 周杰伦
The best album producer Secret OST by Jay Chou



最佳作曲人 《不能说的秘密》 周杰伦
The best classical song producer Secret OST by Jay Chou



Hereby i attach a link to the music video for this great song: Qing Hua Ci
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMHuRzqfmgg

And also the lyric by Fang Wen Shan
素胚勾勒出青花笔锋浓转淡
瓶身描绘的牡丹一如你初妆
冉冉檀香透过窗心事我了然
宣纸上 走笔至此搁一半

釉色渲染仕女图韵味被私藏
而你嫣然的一笑如含苞待放
你的美一缕飘散 去到我去不了的地方

天青色等烟雨 而我在等你
炊烟袅袅升起 隔江千万里
在瓶底书汉隶仿前朝的飘逸
就当我 为遇见你伏笔

天青色等烟雨 而我在等你
月色被打捞起 晕开了结局
如传世的青花瓷自顾自美丽 你眼带笑意

色白花青的锦鲤跃然於碗底
临摹宋体落款时却惦记著你
你隐藏在窑烧里千年的秘密
极细腻 犹如绣花针落地
帘外芭蕉惹骤雨 门环惹铜绿
而我路过那江南小镇惹了你
在泼墨山水画里 你从墨色深处被隐去

天青色等烟雨 而我在等你
炊烟袅袅升起 隔江千万里
在瓶底书汉隶仿前朝的飘逸
就当我 为遇见你伏笔

天青色等烟雨 而我在等你
月色被打捞起 晕开了结局
如传世的青花瓷自顾自美丽 你眼带笑意

special thanks to Miss Tomboy Tan who provided me first hand result of the award.

My birthday wishes are flying back to malaysia....

first of all, i would like to thank all my friends & family that wish me happy birthday....
through msn, email, phone call, leaving comments in my blog, and most importantly sending me birthday cards...
next i would like to apologize to those who posted the bday cards for me....
i just went to the accommodation office to collect them and...
i was told that
"all mails have sent back to the senders....."
OMG!!! my heart was frozen at that moment...
meaning that i wont be able to get my birthday wishes....
it might not get back to the sender....

who shall blame for?
blame for ppl to post it late?
(of course not, they've put in so much effort!)
blame myself for checking it late?
(i checked it last week, no mail for me yet...)
blame the staffs for not keeping my letter?
(summer break has started, all students had gone home, they have no reason to keep the letters)

i feel so bad now... wanted to cry but no tears come out coz it was already frozen....

1hr 48min 的电话粥

原来讲这么久的电话会。。。
让耳朵与电话变得很烧
让电话差一点没电
让人兴奋过头睡不着（因为是一通半夜煲的粥）
让人隔天醒来超没精神（因为睡眠不足）

没什么重点的一通电话，除了那一句“生日快乐”。
互相寒暄温暖一番，在聊一些生活上的琐碎事，分享些对人事物的观点。。。
原来年轻人就是把青春浪费在这种事情上。

但。。。就是很爽

除了写作让我疯了，原来讲电话也让我疯了。

我当医学生的“医”点“医”滴

我的“医”意孤行
从小立志当医生，中途虽然曾经动摇过（我曾梦想过当新闻主播）。
到最后，付出了十三年的努力，拚了老命的读书，以考进医学系为目标。
家人曾经劝我选择别条路，因为毕竟对他们来说，经济方面会有些吃力。
可是一意孤行的我，从没放弃过（或许说天真的我，从没认真考虑过学费的事），只知道把书读好， 认真地上课考试。
幸运的我， 竟然意外的得到政府奖学金，让我有机会梦想成真。
（真的不知道踩了什么狗屎运，因为我不是最top的学生。但我真的很努力。。。）
就像唱阿杜的歌那样，坚持到底，如今，我已经是大三的医学生。

对医学知识的“医”知半解
还是学生的我，每每碰到经验老道的医师前辈，都觉得自己知道与了解的都只是冰山一角。
老实说，对医学知识的贫乏和一知半解，是不够格当医生的。
因为病人的生命在你手上，你必须完全的掌握医学知识，为他们提供最完善的治疗方法。
那样，才够格被人称呼为高人“医”等的doctor。
这个level, 是我的目标，冲吧，希望若干年后，能听到我的病人向我道谢，说一声：“Thank you, Dr Tan."

不经“医”事；不长“医”智。
经验对一个医生来说是非常重要的。
当junior的我们，常常就得向前辈偷师。因为他们吃盐还多国我们吃米呢！
尤其在看诊的时候，年轻的医生很可能断错诊。
就算诊断无误，也有可能开错药方。
用药不当，解药分分钟可能成为毒药阿！
切记！切记！

不可能的“医”刀两断
从没想过当外科医生，更没想过握手术刀。
因为这不是我的那一杯茶。
菜刀都不怎么会握了，更何况是手术刀，绝不能拿病人来开玩笑阿！
或许受了日剧白色剧塔的影响，对外科医生没什么好感。
但无可否认，动手术是医学里不可或缺的治疗方法。

第一次的“医”针见血
在这次的实习中，小妹三生有幸的第一次为病人抽血。
当时的心情，真的是既期待（我超期待的），又怕受伤害（怕病人受伤害）。
结果。。。 只能说是半成功啊
因为我把针插进了血管，但血刚流出来就凝固在tube内，无法取得血液样本。
真是不好意思，还好那位病人大人有大量，不记我这个小人过。

外国留学的“医”路顺风
再过两个月，我就正式在曼联继续我的医学生涯。
还有三年，我就能正式毕业，成为一位合格的医生，为民服务。
当然，这条路不可能一帆风顺。
人生就自然是有起有落，没有哪一些低潮，怎能衬托人生巅峰的美好呢？

对家人无私地给予精神上的支持，我非常感恩。
对朋友无悔地付出，关怀与陪伴， 我非常感恩。
对老师无怨地循循善诱与教诲，我非常感恩。
对纳税人无奈地把钱投资在我身上，我非常感恩。
不管你在我生命中扮演什么角色，因为有你们，才有今天的我。
感恩。