It doesnt rain today.... But i cried yesterday

There's a phrase in chinese said that the day would be sunny after a rain. But then it doesnt rain today and it's sunny.
Life still goes on even my appeal wasnt successful. Balckburn here i come~~~ i would normally put !!! at the end of the sentence but i really dun feel like putting it on. i dun feel excited, i'm just feeling calm. after a few days of waiting, i kind of accepting the fact that i'm going there reagrdless what the reason i gave to the dean. now my main concern is to stay there or staying back in Preston? to travel everyday or to get accomodation there? at least it's comfirmed i have to leave and i could stop myself from dreaming...

i want to end the law of bad attraction and create the law of good attraction...
instead of saying why i havent receive my phone yet???
i should say: my new phone is coming soon!!!
instead of saying why i have to go Blackburn???
i should say: Blackburn, i'm going to conquer you!!!
instead of saying why my com cant go on line???
i should say: I would sort this out very soon!!!
Would everything good come to me soon? I want good things to happen... I want things to go as i wish but... sad to say, in the real world not all things would go as u wish...
so just accept.... accept the fact that those bad things are over, and i'm waiting for my new n happy life in a new place!!!

Tears flew out yesterday... and it's accumulating today... i wonder when would it burst. i'm trying hard to hold it, to hide it from ppl....
But i know it's going to burst, it's just a matter of time...

the post today is very random... but i'have been very moody since last week, pretending that i'm happy. i'm trying to be tough and mature but it's really hard.
can i be more childish and do things without thinking the consequences???
ppl ard me would nvr bother. they just care abt what's the plan this weekend. n i would just have to listen and hiding my tears...
it's not a shame to cry but it's a shame i have no freinds to open up my feelings with...
it's just to hard to get true friends here...

i m going to end this post at a random point. pls dun ask me what happen as too many things happened and i duno where to start. but if u r really my true friend, just pray for me n i'll be fine.