I'm far from being old... 24 only nia

19.06.2009 Dinner at Ling Min's, Salford

Thanks to Ling Min for my very first 24th birthday present this year. She offered me a nice and healthy meal with steamed chicken and boiled lobster and white rice. Ling Min, i'll treat u dinner when you come to Preston, i promise... It's really nice to catch up with you and share our gossips. Haha!!!

20.06.2009 at Uncle Chin Lye's, Cardiff
Thanks to my dear cutie cousin Roxie for choosing me this pink/white pyjamas.
Thank to Stevie for buying me this little Teddy crystal that i'm still thinking what' the use of it...
Thanks to Lowri for the bath set and the lovely birthday card. I shall see all of you in Penang during the summer break. take care ya!!!

21.06.2009 11 Medway, preston (all the way from Liverpool)
Thanks Hui Lin for such an early birthday wish. You were the first who posted a birthday card for me... I dun mind that the card was plain. It's the heart tha counts... Very kam dong~~ See you in Blackpool next year, ok? or maybe in kl when i go home...

27.06.2009 Moor Park, Preston.
Thanks to the Preston/Manchester year 3 for coming to this gathering. It was originally a visit to Lake District but then it was cancelled because of the rainy weather. Although the plan has changed to going to Moor Park, i believe we all had a great time playing "baling slipper". (I had imsonia that night for being too active and my whole body was aching the next day...)
Thanks to everyone that came that day...ie.. the people in the pic...
Look at the number of candles... all over the cake.. and it took me so long to blow off all the candles...
Make a wish... Sincerely make a wish... I wish all of us could score in the exam... Results coming out next week. Dun worry. With the power of my wish, we could all pass and have a great summer break at home!!!

29.06.2009 Glasgow
I took a day off to Glasgow to attend my friends' convocation. My dearest Intec housemates--> Fiona and Lydia. Congratulations girls, well done!!! I know you would be the great pharmacist and enjoy your working life...
Thanks for the treat of the chicken caeser salad and Passion fruit J2O. Remember our next meeting perhaps in Seremban? japanese food?
Thanks to Moose that made a creative birthday cake for me by piling up the left over chips (contributed by Michelle) and the bacon stick. You were the special guest!!! Came all the way for my birthday.. I'm so so touched.. (I know you are not, just pretend you are, ok?) that was really a random surprise when you presented "the cake" and sand the birthday song...
Thanks to Ben, siew chin, chee mei and moose for this present from body shop. the second bath set i have got this year. i like it and i'm considering bring it back home...
and the birthday card... really empty wei... Nvm... i'll get the people to write up and send me wishes when i see them... Got plenty space for the sban people i guess...

29.06.2009 11 Medway, Preston (all the way from Green Street Homes, Seremban)
The most touching present i have received in this year that moved me to tears...
Walau, really couldnt stop tearing... It's from my beloved mama...
when i opened it, it had the music... the happy birthday music... when the music started playing, my tears started to build up in my eyes... couldnt help at all...
Ma, why u made me cry on my birthday....
My eyes just get blurred when i read the messages... I know you miss me. I miss you too... Only 9 days to go and i'll see you, ma... Very fast only...

30.06.2009 11 Medway, Preston (all the way from Aberdeen)
Thanks to Jackie that made the effort sending me the card despite busy preparing for his exam...
Hey boss!!! Ur calculation paling "zhun" that the card reached on time on the exact day!!!
Since you have done something good(ie sending me birthday wishes), i believe u can score good results for you exam... Trust me... Also trust yourself...

30.06.2009 Unknown location, probably Semenyih, Malaysia
thanks to Xiao dee that dedicated a post: Happy Birthday my sis, in his blog to wish me happy birthday. but why u copy the post last year, not sincere also... hey, you still owe me my birthday present... Dun try to run away from me...

30.06.2009 Esatz east Restaurant, Preston
Thanks to Fleur that helped to organise the dinner. And also the rest that came and treated me the dinner. I appreaciate it... we just knew each other for not more than a year. But i'm really grateful that we could actually have dinner together on my big day!!!
That ice cream was really a surprise.. thanks ya...
My favourite card of this year... Really like the messages on it... It says...

Your mind is sharp and functioning, your teeth remain intact
And you can still go dancing 'cause your hip bones haven't cracked
You pee without assistance, your walk is sure and brisk
And you haven't got all the wrinkled, grown a hump, or slipped a disc
Your hair's not turned all white yet, you've got a ticking heart
And you exercise discretion when you can't hold back a fart
You don't crank up the thermostat because you're always cold
and though you've aged another year...
You're far from being old!
Thanks for letting me that I'm still young!!! Happy birthday to me!!!
I had a miserable birthday last year but this year was brilliant!!!
Thanks to all my freinds and family that wished me in person, by texts, by email, by facebook, by msn... I feel so sweet and lucky to know all of you...
with all the blessings and wishes this year, i believe it's a better year ahead for my 24th year of life!
And this will be my 100th post in my blog... a memorable one..
"I'm far from being old... 24 only nia"

Melaena

I went in late for the ward round in Chorley this morning at about 1030am and the patients were shifted to a brand new ward and it took me some time to figure out where the new ward is. So finally i was in the ward and trying to catch up from the ward round as i have not been into the ward for 2 weeks. Then the crash alarmed just rang and i didnt know that was the carsh alarm... (How stupid am i....) But i could figure out something wrong happened as the staffs including all the doctors ran towards one of the pateint. Then i tried to have a look but unfortunately the nurses responded quickly by pulling up the screen. I just stood there and didnt know what should i do... ( i think i look stupid that time...)
Because we were all in the new ward, the doctors were looking for gloves and the crash trolley. One of the nurse brought in the Obs monitor. The nurse then pushed out the wheel chair that had a bowl that was conveneint enough for immobile patient to pass motion. And on that wheel chair i could see stain of melaena (blood mixing with stool)... Oh dear, the patient has got some sort of GI bleed... I tried to peep in through the curtain, then i could see the patient lying on the floor with pool of melaena that dirty the floor and her clothes. I could hear the doctor said that she wasnt arrested but she was collapse after opening her bowel. (probably due to vasovagal response plus acute blood loss.)
Matt and Ross were with me that time, Matt went to get gloves, Ross went to look for the patients notes, and me stupidly standing there, couldnt do anything... So my Reg asked the nurse to get some fluids for resuscitation . After stabilising the patient, he went to arrange an urgent endoscopy. Then my SHO was there to trying to get the patients up and examine her again to make sure she's had not injured herself from falling just now. The FY1 was taking her blood and now i finally have some role in the whole picture... I helped the FY1 to send the blood to the lab( the blood was taken at 1130am and came back with the result of Hb 6.1)
So... we tried to check the history of the pateint. She initially came in with falls and developed episode of ? haemoptysis ?hematemesis last saturday. (But considering she had melaene, she could have had hemetemesis) But no history of taking NSAIDs which put her at risk of develping GI bleed. She already had 2 units of blood transfused that time. So we followed her through to the endoscopy unit. Upon endoscopy, 2ulcers were found that are actively bleeding. The surgeon who conducted the endoscopy injected 6ml of Adr to try to constrict the vessels and reduce the bleeding, and applied clips twice to stop the bleeding. He managed to stop the bleeding of one of the ulcer and slow down the bleeding from another ulcer. In short, the patient's still bleeding. He said that the patient would need surgical intervention as there wasnt much could be done endoscopically. A gastroenterologist came in to review her and agreed with the surgeon but.... considering that patient is 80 year old and she has pulmonary fibrosis... So she might be at some risk for anaesthtics.
Now the issue is to refer her to Preston (which has better ITU care considering that the patient might need it after surgery) or do the surgery in Chorley (as she might not be fit for transferring). After viewing the pros and cons, discussing with the surgeon and anaethetist, the decision was... Refer the pateint to Preston for emergency surgery. Meanwhile, IV omeprazole was prescried for her since she has got 2 big ulcers. So the paramedics came up and Matt and I decided to follow the pateint through and hopefully we could go into the theatre and see how would the surgery be carried out. Matt spoke to the paramedics and we actually went onto the ambulance with this patient. Matt was carrying the blood box (at this time, i think the patient is transfusing her 4th unit of blood) and i was holding my notes and we set off from Chorley to Preston. When i was in the ambulance, i felt that i was one of the movie star in some show...rescuing patient in something goes wrong on the ambulance... hahaha... in fact, i did nothing. coz the patient was stable and alert and she looked quite well..
It only took us 10min to reach the hospital, (normally the shuttle takes 20min) we reached at 3pm. The pateint was sent to SAU and we waited with her for the surgeon and anaesthetist to come and review her. And after all the hassles, the patient was finally sent to the theatre at 5pm. And the surgeon open up her duodenum and showed us the ulcers. The bleeding was stopped already by that time. They stitched up the ulcers to prevent recurrent bleeding. And by that time, it was already 630pm. And we didnt have any lunch yet, we asked to go off and i was just very excited that i could have such a precious experience. Thanks to Matt!!!
So i will probably drop by to ITU tommorrow to find out how the patient do post-operatively. But this is it... Melaena, once you see it, you'll never forget!!!

出口

词曲：徐佳莹

火车行到伊都阿末伊都丢 哎哟磅空内
磅空里面的我啥咪拢不惊 因为有你的期待
回荡在心口的一字一句 暗夜中将我照亮
那是最温暖也最有力量的 你给的星光

就算不知道出口是什么模样
我会继续的前往
挣脱了捆绑
主宰心里头的天光

就当不知道失败会是怎样的重量
这小小的舞台 有我大大的梦想
还有你陪伴的目光
看我不迷失方向
为你而闪烁的模样
看我为你而闪烁的模样

So... Random....

Life is unpredictable. For the past 1 year, i live alone, far away from my family's protection and i met these random people in my life. I might just see them for few minutes but their speech and action could make me remember them for life. Some of them left me happy memories but some of them just remind me of how sweet my family was being my angel and guardian throughout my life.

Here i would like to share 2 occasions that i met these 2 random feeling that remind me of my friends and family...

1. Young Malaysian Chinese Girl Vs. Perverted Indian Muslim Old Man
There was this RANDOM old Indian man that i met on the bus was saying hi to me, and being polite i said hi to him as well. Then he started to ask me am i from Malaysia, then i said yes... then, again being polite, i asked him where was he from, he said Mumbay, India. Ok... Fine.. I thought our conversation would end here. But... he started asking few weird questions... eg: Are you a Muslim? Are you Married? (Stupid Me!!! I should be more alert when he asked these questions but I was just stupid and naive....) Ok finally we talked something more normal... He said he likes durian, then again being polite i said me too....
Then finally the bus reached the bus station. I was about to go off, he came to shake hand with me... (I know it's weird, again i should be smarter and run away when the bus reached the station..) Stupid me!!! The very wrong thing i did was........... I took my hand out and shook hand with him........ And the next moment... I was stunned... He moved his face towards me... And i believe my pupils were dilated as a result of fight and flight response because i could see his lips clearly. He moved his face towards my face and he.....KISSED on my cheek... I was totally IN SHOCKED!!! and the next thing i knew was i walked away from him.... I feel that i was MOLESTED... He's a muslim... even if i am single.. how could he do this to me??? He is just a random people. even if i am in UK, it's normal for their culture to hug and give a goodbye kiss... but i just couldnt believe it happened to me.... Never ever had anyone kiss on my cheek apart from my lovely cutie cousins... and of course never ever to be an old man... I would probably could accept it if he was a young, cute, charming, white guy...
For once, i regret not bringing any friends with me... For once, i hate myself for being too naive and not alarmed... For once, i wish i could have a boy friend could help me go and punch the old man... For once, i wish my family is around and comfort me or even take legal action against this perveted "uncle"... But it's too late... I couldnt recognise the old man even if i decided to sue him . Hahaha...

2. Young Malaysian Chinese Girl Vs. Young African Muslim Man
So another random experience on the bus, I couldnt believe this would happen as it was just 5 min journey from the hospital to my former house. So i met this African guy who said hi to me, and being polite, i said hi to him. Then he asked am i a chinese? I said i am a malaysian. Am i married? and i am a honest person i said no (probably i can consider lying to avoid all the troubles, i hope the Buddha will forgive me when i lie, but i was just to honest... and stupid...)Then he started telling me that the story of his relatives in London married a Malaysian... I felt it's weird, i didnt want to know the story... What has it got to do with me??? But obviously i didnt say that...
Another weird thing would be he showed me his ID and asked am i a student, oh yes, i am... so.... I didnt want to see his ID... What has it got to do with me??? Then for the very first time in my life, there's some one that praised me and i felt very weird instead of feeling happy. He said that i have got very NICE TEETH...Out of so many parts of my face... It's not my eyes, not my nose, not my lips, but my teeth.... And this coming out from someone that i first met...
And i reached my stop already, i quickly stood up and told him that i'm getting off soon. Then guess how he ended our RANDOM conversation??? He lifted his hands up and started praying in the bus... And wished me luck for my studies... (I think i should feel touched but i could only say thank you...)
At least, this African man is less harmless than the Indian old man... But, afterall, he's just weird...

If i could bring a friend with me, maybe the outcome of the story would be changed. Hahaha... But i guess this is part of life, meeting random people... Luckily i didnt lose much apart from losing a kiss... yuck yuck.. now that i think of it, i feel like going to wipe and clean my face..... Ishhhhhhhhhhh....

你是友情，还是错过的爱情？

最近，周杰伦的《蒲公英的约定》不断在脑海中出现，想起了那一句。。

一起长大的约定 那样真心 与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清 你是友情还是错过的爱情。。。

当然，我和你没什么约定，别说蒲公英了，连个大红花约定都没。。。
反正约定与承诺都只是包袱。。。倒不如像现在一样顺其自然得更好。。。

我的真心，从没让你知道，也不知道该不该让你知道。。。
我喜欢和你聊的不止曾经，我喜欢聊现在，更喜欢聊未来与我们的梦想。。。

而我应该还分得清楚，你是友情，或许比友情多一点吧。。。
友达以上，恋人未满的境界。。。
肯定的是，还没到爱情，单方面的真心，怎能说是爱情。。。
如果不是爱情，那就不会错过了，我错过了吗？

你不是真正的快乐

作词：五月天 作曲：五月天

人 群中 哭著 你只想变成透明的颜色
你再也不会梦 或痛 或心动了
你已经决定了 你已经决定了
你 静静 忍著 紧紧把昨天在拳心握著
而回忆越是甜 就是 越伤人了
越是在 手心留下 密密麻麻 深深浅浅 的刀割

你不是真正的快乐 你的笑只是你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳

这 世界 笑了 於是你合群的一起笑了
当生存是规则 不是 你的选择
於是你 含著眼泪 飘飘荡荡 跌跌撞撞 的走著

你不是真正的快乐 你的笑只是你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳

你不是真正的快乐 你的伤从不肯完全的愈合
我站在你左侧 却像隔著银河
难道就真的抱著遗憾一直到老了 然后才后悔著

你值得真正的快乐 你应该脱下你穿的保护色
为什麼失去了 还要被惩罚呢
能不能就让 悲伤全部 结束在此刻 重新开始活著

你说

你说
猪流感蔓延至英国，要我照顾自己
我知道了

你说
我没有良心，因为忙着读书
但我有打电话给你

你说
我去旅行时要自己小心
我会小心的

你说
要买生日礼物给我
我超感动的

你说
要寄包裹给我
我在等着

你说
有千言无语要告诉我
我在听着

你说
你想念我
我明白，我也想念你。。。的手艺

你说
你爱我
我了解，但我就是没有勇气当面说出口
我也是。

保重，妈。
母亲节快乐。